Homewrecker

True story. My husbo is in Chicago this week on business and he called me last night to tell me what happened to him. Naturally, I assumed he ran into Oprah at Starbucks but no, it was a bit weirder than that.

A stranger, a young normal looking guy, approached Jake and asked him if he knew where a certain club was. Jake said no, as he was from out of town and this stranger asked were he was from…blah blah blah and started walking with Jake down the street. Jake still thought he was looking for this club but then this dude started propositioning him asking to pay Jake to let him “massage and smell his feet”. The dude asked to take Jake back to his hotel room and give him $100 to rub his smelly feet. He said "You are dressed like a business man so I know your feet are all sweaty and stinky from being in your shoes all day so I would just LOVE to come up and rub them for you, you don’t even have to pay attention, you can just watch TV”. Um, what? The guy went on to explain that he has this foot fetish (no kidding) that he just can not tell his friends about so he really wants to “experiment in safety with a total stranger” and he likes “to be submissive” and Jake can be “dom”. Finally, Jake says “you know I’m not gay, right?” but this did not deter the foot smeller who started begging to catch a whiff. He said “I will give you $20 and you and you can just stand in the public restroom and I will smell and touch your feet”, then he begs him to buy his sweaty socks right off his feet for $5! Apparently this went on for many blocks before Jake was finally able to duck into his hotel saying “I don’t think this is gonna happen, dude”.