Congratulations Fluffy!

My cousin Michael just graduated...off to UW-RF in the fall! Just so happens his 27-year-old cousin Casey is also off to UW-RF this fall for a second undergrad degree this time in Music Ed.

It's official...finalization day!!

Bob Rock

Across the street live the neighbors we call "the Grandparents" because they have over 20 grandchildren and do daycare for many of them. Anyway, we often see one of their grown sons stop by. We call him Bob Rock. He looks like Kid Rock with long stringy hair and is really skinny. I'm not sure what his deal is but he drives over every morning in his maroon van to take a shower at their house and then he gets dressed in the street. Every day he stands next to his van and puts on his T-shirt and Old Spice Red Zone deordorant while I watch. The sad thing is I kinda look forward to seeing Bob Rock prevent body odor. That's community.

EDIT: Don't get the wrong idea people, this guy is gross. I thought the Kid Rock reference would imply that!

Bad feet

Interesting Article: How We're Wrecking Our Feet includes some observations about my shoe of choice...

"Similarly, you may have heard of a shoe called MBT, or Masai Barefoot Technology, which was developed in the early nineties by a Swiss engineer after studying the barefoot walk of the Masai people. MBTs have gained a cult following because wearing the shoes forces you to work—and presumably tone—your leg muscles. I can attest that this part is true. After wearing MBTs for a short walk, you feel it in the backs of your legs. What you can’t feel—at all—is the ground. In an obvious irony, these “barefoot” shoes look like orthopedic shoes for Frankenstein. You stand on a rocker-shaped sole that’s designed to be soft and unstable. This improves your forward step but makes it nearly impossible to move laterally, i.e., slalom through slow-moving tourists in Soho. And a ride in MBTs on the herky-jerky D train feels like someone’s throwing an ankle-spraining party and you’re the guest of honor."

Happy Wednesday!

Adoption Panel

It's kinda like a solar panel but fueled by hot air.

On Thursday Jake & I, along with baby Nori, are going to sit on a panel at Lutheran Social Services' Adoptive Parent Training for waiting couples to speak about our experiences. We can thrill with them with the story of going to the Women's Correctional Facility to meet a recovering crack addict (we didn't even have to go through a metal detector!) or prepare them to get their "hearts ripped out" (quote by Andy Ho) if a match fails.

Really, we have only positive things to say and even during the the not-so-fun times we knew it would all work out...we were holding out for our girl! At our training last June I remember there were a lot of questions about openness and what a relationship with a birth family is really like. I got really sick of hearing "it depends" or "every situation is different". I wanted an example! I will bring a copy of the newspaper article and some photos from the hospital. Currently, there is a lot of upheaval in the adoption world as several big international programs just closed thus driving up the demand and wait times for domestic adoption.

I am grateful for our experience and enjoy sharing how joyful adoption can be with others, many of whom have experienced extreme sadness on their quest to become parents. Hopefully they can see that adopting is NOT second rate but a wonderful, amazing way to create a family that allows you to wear a bikini instantly afterwards. (In case you don't know, that is the real reason we adopted, Jake did not want me to gain any weight).

Welcome Josiah!

Daycare dilemas

So, I am hunting for a new daycare. Let's just say our current one is not meeting my expectations. Today we interviewed the perfect woman but she is in such high demand that she has 3 families to choose from, even thought she is only open M-Th. Are we pressing our luck to hope we are picked considering we were just chosen from a book for 65 families to be Norelle's parents? Do we still have "it"?

This new daycare is in our neighborhood, right over in Mac-Groveland area in a lovely old house which is super clean and organized. She only take 4 kids and she has a structured schedule which includes circle time, reading, a pre-school curriculum by Mother Goose Time, a music therapist who comes in once a week and other educational components incorporated into free-play. They even take field trips to the Como Zoo, the Stillwater apple orchard and the library in her giant church van. Plus, she has a great backyard with a swing set and lots of toys.

I often think about starting my own SMALL in-home daycare in order to be home with my baby and other little cuties. We could steal the Mother Goose Time and music thing easy (I would teach the kids a thing or two about the real world). For lunch I could finally develop some great culinary skills, better late than never. I could turn our mud room into a diaper changing station right next to the bathroom/potty station. Glamorous, no? I have a great toy closet in the living room and we could rearrange everything to turn it into a play room during the week. The yard...well that's a tiny issue (literally) but we have parks close by with hardly any weirdos. My guest room could be the nap room although where ever would I put my real guests? Also, I would finally have to do something major about our insulation problems in the basement (i.e. get some).

Then again, this idea could go the way of cookie dough on a stick...a gem never brought to fruition.

A HUGE Thank You to Grandma & Gramps!!

It was great having you here this week! We loved that Nori could chill with Grandma & her old Gramps while daycare was off. We appreciated especially that you gave Nori lots of love, took Dorothy on longs walks, cleaned our house, cooked dinner and even used your own vacation days to "work" for us. We love you!

I have yet to ever have an original thought

Cold Toes Warm Heart

I found out about this lovely artist via Sabrina via Kelly's food blog. One glance and it was love at first sight! Check out her store here at Etsy, she calls herself, The Black Apple. Her work is beautiful, quirky and sweet.

Finalization

One last update. We go to court next Friday June 27 to finalize the adoption. The Honorable Curly B. Lindman will be presiding. Someone is bound to yell "you can't handle the truth" but other than that, it should be smooth.

Pterodactyl

Jake told Nori she sounds like a pterodactyl when she whines and it's so true. A) how do we even know what a pterodactyl sounds like and B) I did not know it was spelled with a P until I used spellcheck.

Five months old (yesterday that is)

I almost killed my MIL...

...not on purpose mind you! Steve & Liz are staying here this week because daycare is on vacay and Jake is out of town so I need them!

On Tuesday Liz had already gone for a long bike ride when I coerced her into riding our bikes to the JCC and doing the BodySculpt class. Little did I know the hardest and meanest instructor would be teaching (this lady shows no mercy and isn’t exactly concerned about form or injury prevention) so we did about a million squats & lunges on top of working all other muscles. Why do most fitness instructors lie? “Last set…okay just 8 more…last one, now 12 more…make it 16…double time for 12… and pulse for 32”. Anyway, Liz did great and made it through class with only a dislocated shoulder and major back pain but then we had to bike up a super steep hill to get home and that, coupled with the fact she had not eaten lunch, made it quite challenging. Anyway, we made it and Steve grilled chicken breasts and asparagus so it was a well-earned meal.

Norelle is giving her grandparents a workout…she is very sensitive to new people or changes in her routine so it doesn’t take much for her to go on hyper-alert/no napping mode. Today is their last day but we really appreciate them using their precious vacation days to hang out with “Little Miss Pretty” as Steve calls her.

Homewrecker

True story. My husbo is in Chicago this week on business and he called me last night to tell me what happened to him. Naturally, I assumed he ran into Oprah at Starbucks but no, it was a bit weirder than that.

A stranger, a young normal looking guy, approached Jake and asked him if he knew where a certain club was. Jake said no, as he was from out of town and this stranger asked were he was from…blah blah blah and started walking with Jake down the street. Jake still thought he was looking for this club but then this dude started propositioning him asking to pay Jake to let him “massage and smell his feet”. The dude asked to take Jake back to his hotel room and give him $100 to rub his smelly feet. He said "You are dressed like a business man so I know your feet are all sweaty and stinky from being in your shoes all day so I would just LOVE to come up and rub them for you, you don’t even have to pay attention, you can just watch TV”. Um, what? The guy went on to explain that he has this foot fetish (no kidding) that he just can not tell his friends about so he really wants to “experiment in safety with a total stranger” and he likes “to be submissive” and Jake can be “dom”. Finally, Jake says “you know I’m not gay, right?” but this did not deter the foot smeller who started begging to catch a whiff. He said “I will give you $20 and you and you can just stand in the public restroom and I will smell and touch your feet”, then he begs him to buy his sweaty socks right off his feet for $5! Apparently this went on for many blocks before Jake was finally able to duck into his hotel saying “I don’t think this is gonna happen, dude”.

with the band

My brother is in a band... he's the drummer. They way things work the drummer is the last guy to meet the babes, just before the roadies, but oh well. They also never make it in the photos. 8 Switch, the band, is going to be the in-flight entertainment for Sun Country aboard a real airplane flying in the sky off to who knows where. Cool huh?

Walkable Urbanism

Why am I such a trend setter? I was the first to like the cute nerd (yeah I'm talking about my husbo) way before Seth Cohen was cool. I searched high & low for a strapless wedding dress before they were en vogue. I wanted to name my baby Olivia back in the 90's and now I have made living in the city cool again. Apparently people have caught on that that the burbs are way overrated with inspiring architecture and chain stores everywhere. One of the main reason we chose to live where we do is because we can walk to restaurants, coffee shop, grocery stores, the library and even a movie theater. Plus, catching the bus saves on gas and parking cost. Luckily a lot of cool people agree and we have fantastic neighbors who take pride in the neighborhood so it is a fun, active community. Wait and see, open adoption is going to be the next big thing. Either that or foot pain...

A new friend for Sabrina...

My old pal Erbear is blogging, check her out at Thankful E . Erin, meet Sabrina. She will stalk your blog and leave you tons of comments. When you feel like no one else is reading anything you write, Sabrina will be there for you. You are welcome.

Happy Father's Day to ALL the dads out there...

Click here to see what Norelle made her dad...

Going for broke

Literally. The awesome news is that my boss just gave me the approval to work .80 time! This means one much-needed, wonderful day off a week to spend with Norelle and stay caught up on all my mom duties. I might be the only person in the entire country voluntarily cutting back on their income in the wake of doubling gas & food prices and in the same year as adopting and adding daycare expenses...am I nuts? But, she is only a baby once and I need more time to enjoy her (and some for myself, too). Poor Jake says “that’s great, but my week still sucks". I reminded him that there is no sense in both of us being miserable and promised to bake for him to cheer him up.

Send the coupons and hand-me-downs our way, I'll be home on Fridays collecting cans...

Happy 30th Birthday Chelsy!

So not dumb

This just in....Ellen graduates!


Whew, it was close but she made it. High school is hard. Friday night she not only got her dippy but also gave a clever speech entitled "Doodaloo". I am hoping she gets it up on YouTube so I can link to it. Next year she off the U of M to be closer to me, her hero, and to major in who knows what, maybe environmental studies...


Anyway, today we celebrated with a huge party which started with brunch and ended 8 hours later with everyone lined at the edge of the garage watching the rain pour down.




p.s.
I think I do have Nature Deficit Disorder because when I go to Winona and see the bluffs, huge yards and gardens I feel happy and not excited to return to our crowded city lot with no view to view.

Norelle & her old man

My weekend...

• Pick up Jake from airport
• Try on awesome yoga pants from Lulu Lemon
• Help Sabrina move
• Drop off Nori @ Bill & Linda’s
• Celebrate Stacey’s 30th birthday at Twins game
• Get sick from Dome nachos
• Be featured in newspaper article on adoption
• Go to church
• Walk around Grand Old Day
• Assemble fan and sit in front of it

• 

Happy 2nd Birthday Lo Lo!

We love you! Feel better soon!

In the news...

Staying open to adoption

Linda Hanson Duluth News Tribune
Published Sunday, June 01, 2008

As her baby grew inside her, Tasha Tomczak worried and wondered what she should do.

The Duluth woman was in her mid-20s and already had a 2-year-old daughter. The thought of being a single mother to two children was overwhelming. Tomczak turned for help to Kjerstin Larson, who offers pregnancy and birthparent services at Lutheran Social Service in Duluth.

Larson doesn’t try to sway the women who come to her; she and the women discuss the options. If a woman is considering adoption, Larson helps see her through the process.

Tasha Tomczak (second from right) and her 2-year-old daughter, Alice (right), are shown with Megan and Jake Seltz, who are holding Norelle on the day of her baptism in March. Tomczak is Norelle’s birth mother and the Seltzes are her adoptive parents. SUBMITTED PHOTO
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“Whatever she decides, I want to make sure she feels good about the decision forever,” Larson said.

Adoption once was shrouded in shame and secrecy, but in recent years open adoption has become the norm in domestic adoptions. In an open adoption, the birth mother chooses the adoptive parents and both sides come to an agreement about such things as visits and sharing photos of the child.

Tomczak liked what she learned about open adoption. “I found out I could still be a part of [the new baby’s] life without going through the trials and tribulations of having two kids,” said Tomczak, 26.

Last December, Tomczak and her mother paged through profiles of about 60 couples waiting to adopt through LSS. They chose three couples to interview.

Tomczak met the first couple, Jake and Megan Seltz of St. Paul, in December. They visited, looked at each other’s photo albums and agreed to talk again. Tomczak called Larson the next day to tell her the couple was the right one.

Tomczak said it was like in the movie “Lilo and Stitch” when Lilo picked out Stitch in an animal shelter and said, “This one’s good. I can tell.”

Jake learned the news first, then called Megan. She was walking home when her cell phone rang. She screamed for joy in the middle of the street when she learned she would soon be a mother.

During the final weeks of her pregnancy, Tomczak talked by phone with the Seltzes a few times a week and they got to know each other better.

On Jan. 18, Tomczak gave birth by Caesarean section as the Seltzes waited in a nearby room at St. Mary’s Medical Center in Duluth. Minutes later, Tomczak’s mother brought the baby to her new parents and the Seltzes beamed with happiness as they held their daughter. The Seltzes and Tomczak shared in naming the child. The Seltzes chose Norelle as her first name, and Tomczak gave her the same middle name she has, Renee.

Before going to the hospital, Tomczak had written down all the reasons she chose adoption for herself, her daughter, Alice, and the baby. She brought the list with her to the hospital, but she didn’t need to look at it. She never wavered in her decision.

On Jan. 21, the Seltzes took Norelle home with them.

Before the baby’s birth, Tomczak and the Seltzes had worked out a cooperative agreement, which is voluntary, and a contact agreement, which is legal. The agreements say they will talk to each other every two months and send pictures every six months, but they have visited and exchanged photos more often than that. “We do what feels normal to us,” Tomczak said.

Jake Seltz said he and his wife chose an open adoption because they wanted to parent a child from birth. They feel blessed to have Tomczak and Norelle in their lives, he said. “We’ve gotten to know [Tomczak] and develop a trust, respect and friendship,” he said.

He wants people to know that open adoption is not as scary as it might seem. Some people asked him and his wife if they were worried the birth mother would change her mind, take the baby or show up at unexpected times, he said. None of that happened, he said.

Seltz said he believes the openness of the adoption will be good for Norelle. “She’ll know we’re her parents, but it’s also important for her to know her biological mom and dad,” he said.

Tomczak and the baby’s father are no longer a couple. He has a separate cooperative agreement with the Seltzes.

The Seltzes invited Tomczak to Norelle’s baptism. Although it was a happy occasion, it was hard for Tomczak to see that Norelle had grown so much in the two months they had been apart. But seeing Norelle with her adoptive parents showed Tomczak something important.

“They do care for her and love her. They are her family,” she said. “I wound up with a wonderful adoption.”

Link: http://www.duluthnewstribune.com/us/