Tuesdays with Nori

forced friends

Minnehaha Falls, you're so funny! Today we met up with our friends Jill & Nova, Chelsy, Olivia & Sophia and Katie & Anna for a picnic in the heat on the banks of the something river. It is crazy how much Anna looks like her dad, Jeff, and how much Sophia looks like Chelsy. I have known these friends since our glory days in Winona Middle School so it is amazing to think back through all that we have gone through together and now our little girls can be friends, too. BTB, if you have never lugged blankets, coolers, diaper bags and kids to a picnic in 90 degree heat, you are missing out. BTB PS, Please keep Jill in your prayers as she underwent minor surgery today to remove some skin cancers on her leg!

Later...

playing surgery

10 years of using Missy by pretending to be her friend have finally paid off as we got to swim in her pool on a HOT day. The usual crow was there, Liam & Ang and Kenna & Lo Lo (who also happen to be using Missy for her pool). Afterwards, we enjoyed yummy homemade lasagna in the A/C. Gracias!!

All this while while my pink bra hung out of my defective Old Navy purple tank top. If you are wondering whether it is worse in my house in the winter or summer, let me discuss. The winter is long and painful, mainly on the ground floor where one cooks, yet you can retreat upstairs to the tropical oasis that is our attic bedroom. The summer is intense but only has a few steaming days with stifling air, yet you can retreat to the frigid oasis that is our A/C- ready attic bedroom. In the winter you can put on layers, but in the summer you can go swimming. In the winter you can fly to Mexico, but in the summer you can not fly to Alaska because it is summer there, too. Nothing has ever melted in the summer while things have frozen solid in the winter. In conclusion, winter is worse.

Finally, I leave you with some Noriisms:

Me: "How did you sleep?"

Nori: "Really good!"

Me: "How was your day at Tammy's?"

Nori: "It was really good! I miss you. Where you went, college?"

On learning our neighbors were getting married, a very perceptive comment:
"Judy will be the bride and Keith will be the guy"

While throwing tennis balls around the kitchen:

"That's good sports!"

a fruitful weekend

Guess what?!! I just found out Jana has a case of the babies! How did I find out? Why, I read it on her mom's Faceboook page, of course! It's the circle of life. Congrats Jana & Tyler!! I feel another wave of baby friends coming on so if you're not on Facebook, feel free to leave a comment announcing it here on SoS. If I hear Darlene is pregnant, I will freak.

While the rest of the world was apparently at home doing it, here's what we have been up to:

Our Life Group

We checked another goal off our list and attended Music in Mears with our wonderful Bloom friends. The little girls, Lauren and Greta led by wild Nori, went crazy running and dancing while we chased them in between bites of choclo con queso.

Scar pushing Mufasa into a stampede while Simba hangs on branch, per Nori's request

Thanks to groceries at Rainbow, Whole Foods, and Target, I tested out a couple new recipes, Brown Rice Spring Vegetable Risotto and Asian Lettuce Wraps. We also cleaned, exercised, had acupuncture, and watched Whale Wars & Weeds, two different shows about baked people doing messed up things.

Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up!

...tonight gonna fight til we see the sunlight!

Lo Lo & Nori gave us a glimpse into 2022 as they rode in her new Princess car, a sassy yet sensible Toyota. Missy also took a spin, just to teach the girls how to text and drive properly.

In Time Out (and loving it)

We also found time for church, a family trip to the beach, laundry, and bathing the dog. Much better than what you were up to (except you, Mom, I know you are retired).

self portrait, dreaming of Mexico 2011

lady friend

My Papa Michael is single and ready to mingle....he had a date last night! Her name is Darlene, her husband died 7 years ago, she was a Sweet Adeline (jazz hands) and according to Papa "she is a very nice girl". A 73-year-old girl but they say she looks younger, a GRILF perhaps? He asked her out to a band concert at the band shell and then they went to Culver's for ice cream and coffee. OMG, ice cream? That's how Jake & I got started and look at us now! Obviously, she owed him after that so they kissed!!!! Yes, I asked my grandfather for the juicy details because I just had to know so I can try to monitor and control this relationship, just like I do all things in my life. Plus, we have no boundaries. Anyway, he enjoys "talking" to her and likes having a new "friend". The term lady friend was invented for this exact scenario. He is taking her to the Winona Lighting company picnic so you know what that means....I might be getting a new granny!

Playdate!

snack time in the red kitchen

I made it to Bloomington without a hitch but got really lost coming home, touring Mendota Heights and Eagan en route to Saint Paul. Why is my brain like this? There are several parts of my brain that did not properly develop: the sports part, the card playing part, the direction part, and the math part. Can you think of others? Also, what is it *exactly* that my mom did wrong to make this happen? Maybe it was too much chocolate milk while I was in utereo? Or could it be her holding me too much when I was baby? No, I think the overholding just led to my general neediness and emotional instability. I won't even mention ---- ----'s but maybe it was the Hardee's biscuits & gravy EVERY Sunday or excessive viewing of Mister Roger's and Sesame Street?

Anyway, we had a playdate with the Miskell's today! Jada is my new BFF while Nori proclaimed Jenay "cutie, cutie, cutie"!

Jakob, Nori & Jada say, "Cheers" with their juice boxes

Jenay and her little feet

home again

Goodbye nature, hello NetFlix

What a wonderful trip! Nori had the time of her life splashing in the lake with her adoring fans cheering her on! She says her favorite part was spinning in circles in the water with Daddy.This was the first year where she really got it and enjoyed herself, just like the rest of us. When not in the water she kept busy performing surgeries on us with Ellen's headlamp from camp, using various knickknacks like golf tees as scalpels, and suturing with duct tape. Other games included playing with her new alien and acting out scenes from the Lion King, namely any scene with Scar in it. Ellen and Charlie are both such a great aunt and uncle, they spent lots of time playing games, taking her to the potty, and helping out (BTB, potty training is going awesome, only couple accidents all week)! Of course, Grandma 'Wiz and Grandpa Steve are her favorites, thanks to them for all the meals, pontoon rides, babysitting, and love. The rest of the time was spent reading, playing cribbage, napping, biking, cooking, and pranking Charlie who totally bought it for 3 days until he read my blog on his Blackberry.

fishing with ham

Jake & Charlie ran 3 miles to the campground then swam back to cabin

the eagle, post poop

kayaking in the wind

ahhh...

still Up North

As my second grade teacher, Sister Jean Ann, used to say: serene

only idiots on the lake

Ellen is The Frog Whisperer

9:00 p.m. at the lake

Play-Doh is the best toy ever

floating during Happy Hour on the S.S. Jalopy

our roof

S'mores and a campfire

This dog has been sick (what else is new?)

Seltztastic

beauty

Up North

Day 3 at the cabin on Rock Lake, it's cloudy and cool but I discovered this new coffee shop, The Shante, with Wi-Fi. Yes, I quit coffee but I did not quit decaf non-fat lattes on cool days. The rest of the crew is having another big breakfast of carbs and syrup but a dainty little thing like myself just prefers organic fruit and purified air.

So far, so fun! Nori is so brave, she hopped right in off the dock to Jake and swam in the "deepy deepy" and she hopped off the boat in the middle of lake. "I'm not scared", she said.


Yesterday was gorg, lots of sun and blue skies. On our first day Liz made free-range chicken on the grill with a green salad, last night Ellen made eggplant parmigiana and fettuccine alfredo, and tonight Jake is making ribs. We had a nice bike ride too and some swimming. Ahhh...





Charlie is arriving today and we have a big prank to play on him hence, I won't schedule this post to publish until after I know he will be here so he won't see it. The prank will pit some of Charlie's favorite things against each other: beer and babes versus a quiet lake. Uncle Doug's cabin, three doors down, burned down years ago but now is being renovated. We are going to tell Charlie that they are turning it into a topless sports bar called Rock Solid with huge LED televisions on the dock so you can drink and watch TV from your boat. You can even see the new party deck they put in! The neighbors are protesting and had a huge "float in" rally on the lake yesterday, voicing their opposition. Then, we are going to make some signs and hang them on the road that say "Keep our lake PG-13" and "No boobs, just inner tubes". Well, we don't really have our slogans down yet but that's the plan. Do you think he will buy it? Stay tuned...

I'm serious

I don't like being serious, it's much more fun to screw around and ignore unpleasantness. But lately, something has really been bothering me and I am hoping it is an overreaction ( I am prone to these) or that I am being too sensitive (I do this). That's what Jake's thinks and according to him, he's always right

It's about adoption.

I don't really like to talk about the fact that Nori was adopted because I don't want anyone to think she is not 100% the heart of my family. I hope I don't need to reiterate that Nori is the light of my life, the best thing that has ever happened to me, my best friend, and every other cliche there is. I loved her since the second she was placed in my arms. I am so grateful for infertility as she is the exact child I am mean to love and mother.

So, here's what's been weighing on my heart:

There are some very vocal people, many birth mothers or adoptees, who go into great detail claiming that adoption is unethical because it takes advantage of poor, young, and uneducated women, ripping a baby away from his or her natural mother which should never be done, no matter what. This separation creates a primal wound for both which will never heal. Adoptive parents are naive to think otherwise, no matter how loving or well-intentioned they may be. Open adoption is just a rouse to entice birth mothers into choosing adoption but leaves them tricked and hurt. All adoptions begin with a loss of the natural family that goes against nature. Transracial adoptions only further complicate life as kids of color grow up "too white" and totally out of touch with their culture.

Is this true? Did I do something terrible by manipulating someone into placing their newborn? Will Nori grow up with feelings of deep loss, low self-esteem, an outsider in her own family longing for her biological kin? If we adopt transracially, is the child doomed to feel like an outcast, longing for his or her "real" family, the only people who understand? Is is wrong to take a child away from the women who gave birth to him or her?

I'm NOT looking for everyone to yell "NO", just to comfort me. Even though I don't want to agree with the extent some of the views are taken to, there are some valid thoughts. Yes, affluent adoptive parents pay lots of money to adopt, thus corruption and unethical practice can occur. I agree that all mothers should be encouraged to parent if they want to as support and resources can be found to help through the tough times. Certainly birthparents have intense grief, many their whole life through. Ignoring race is not healthy, white families who adopt transracially should work hard to educate and create connections with people who look like the child. I know this, but am I still naive?

Open adoption is not uncomplicated. Maintaining a relationship with Nori's birth family is emotionally hard, mainly because I want to pretend she is all mine and I don't like it that anyone else thinks of her as "their" daughter or posts her photo on their Facebook page. If I am honest with myself, her biological family loves her and thinks about her often. Let me add that they are great people, respect our boundaries, and appear happy with the decision to choose adoption. I pray it really is that rosy but what are they feeling inside? Will they feel this way in 5 or 10 years? I am possessive of my daughter, even though without their choice I would not be a mom at all.

In an effort to comfort myself, I think of the many stories from people who were adopted and how they love and cherish their adoptive families. I look to the research which shows that children who join families through adoption in infancy are happy and well-adjusted. I look to my heart which is overflowing with love. I look to Nori who adores us and will always know she is wonderful, chosen, desired, and accepted, even when she has a need to know her birth family better.

Sometimes I just don't like the fact that these issues are part of my life. Giving birth to a child means they are yours... no matter what, no one else can claim them. That part I like. I feel scared to pursue another adoption because it means lack of control, uncertainly, waiting, and disappointment for us. Worse yet, grief for another family.

We have been blessed beyond measure with Norelle and every ounce of distress is worth it to be her mom forever. Life is never simple and this is just another aspect to process and learn from. At the end of the day, she knows we are her momma and daddy and that's really all that matters right now.

a little booty goes a long way...

T.McB has yet to master the fine art of potty training, despite several strong weeks followed by a pee where you are attitude (plus daycare isn't that proactive). So, the next 10 days will be potty training boot camp while we are at the lake. We are on Day 2 with no accidents today courtesy of bribery in the form of Pirate's Booty organic snacks. Wish us luck!

Happy Birthday Jake!

33 years analytical

this IS my hobby

this face was her idea

Happy fourth of July! While you are out igniting explosives, I just cleaned my fridge and rearranged my cupboards for FUN!

red bean, sweet potatoes, carrots, tomatoes, coconut milk & spices over white rice
Jake was devastated we didn't grill today, very un-American

We are on a roll eating (mostly) organically sticking to mainly fresh fruits & veggies, whole grains, lots of beans and low-fat yogurt, cottage cheese & milk. No cookie dough. Even more monumental is that I gave up coffee 3 weeks ago which also means I gave up Coffee Mate French Vanilla creamer which was like my vice of all vices. Believe it or not, not having sweets has actually reduced my sweet tooth and caused me lose three pounds. Oh, I know exactly what you are thinking "But Megan, you don't need to lose three whole pounds of lard from your saddlebags" to which I reply "Oh, go on!"

Speaking of my organic revolution, I bought some Seventh Generation cleaning products and cleaned my bathrooms today. While I enjoyed the thyme smell (and craved some chicken soup), I can't say it did much against the grime in my tub. You know how when you walk around barefoot outside then get in the shower and it leaves behind dirt footprints? Yeah, those are still there. I am going to have to get online to research homemade recipes and whip up something out of baking soda and lemon juice that Ma Ingalls would have used to clean her washtub after Pa, herself, Mary, Laura, Carrie all took a bath in the same water.

yes, we use only filtered spring water in the sprinkler, thanks for asking

We also took a road trip to Ra-Ra-Rochester to see the Palbickis. It would have been my Uncle Rick's 54th birthday so we honored him and Jim by gathering and talking about how much stuff costs (it's a dominate Palbicki trait, right up there with male pattern baldness and beak-like noses) .

It's not the same without them

that's them

Well, I better to get bed soon, I have to go to the beach the next two days in a row and I need my rest.

Pool-io

I have a new love, Pluot Green Iced Tea at Caribou! It's so yummy and low cal. Just think, this morning I didn't even know what a pluot was (neither does spell check). Another lovely pool day! Nori and her boy toy Liam waded in the kiddie pool and even mastered the giant water slides in the big pool (with the help of their moms), "wee-ing" all the way the down. And apparently, I went to the Jake Seltz School of Sunscreen Application . Oh well, this body needs some color.